


aspectabund

by lovelilkitty



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, First Kiss, Fluff, Light Angst, M/M, Not really though, dumb gays pining n then fluff, just like
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-26
Updated: 2019-10-25
Packaged: 2021-01-03 11:44:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21178889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovelilkitty/pseuds/lovelilkitty
Summary: aspectabund; letting emotion show easily through the face or eyes





	aspectabund

Ronan Lynch, as a rule, was not emotional. He coped with his feelings through humor, he closed himself off to the world; even to Gansey, although he suspected Gansey could see through his facade. 

Adam had always been the exception to the rule. The day they’d met, Ronan had been awkward, in a messy sort of way he’d never experienced before. He’d never met anyone quite like Adam, who was genuine in a quiet sort of way. He was whipped, and he hated it, because Adam was straight, so obviously so.

Except he wasn’t, so it turned out. Because three days ago, Adam had kissed Ronan. And they hadn’t spoken since. Which wasn’t Ronan’s fault, not entirely. He was busy, Adam was busy, they were all busy. 

Gansey had picked up on it, but he didn’t press for answers and Ronan didn’t give him any, which was odd, considering, of course, it was _Gansey_ being discussed. 

In the end, it was Blue who had asked, when Ronan had stumbled into Nino’s after a furtive glance around that he thought was subtle.

He was wrong though, because when Blue saw him, she sauntered over, briskly stating, “He’s not here.”

“What?”

“But I guess you know that, because you wouldn’t be here if he was.”

“If who was?” Ronan muttered, trying his best to play dumb.

Blue just snorted, shoving a menu into his chest and pointing him to a table that was not in her section. Ronan protested, pointing out that his usual table was free, and Blue’s section was way less busy anyway.

“I’ll serve you when you tell me what’s going on with you and Adam.” She said, and he sighed, frustrated.

It wasn’t until a week later that he came to her, head hung guiltily. It was summer, and Adam was working, so avoiding him had proven to be even easier than Ronan had hoped. Or, thought he’d hoped. He wasn’t so sure anymore. 

He missed Adam. A lot. He missed their dumb fights and he missed their inside jokes and he missed the feel of Adam’s lips on his and-

And well, that. That was why he had to do this. Because no matter how much he hated this, he knew he would hate what happened if he talked to Adam more.

Adam would tell him it was a mistake, tell him he didn’t want to ruin their friendship, because that was _all_ Ronan was to Adam. All he’d ever be.

And as painful as missing Adam was, he knew rejection would be unbearably worse. He’d delayed it for so long, never being outright with the feelings they both knew he possessed.

Why should he, after all, when Adam had never acted on it, no matter how unsubtle Ronan could possibly be.

He told Blue all this over coffee, along with how Adam had kissed him in the barn, interrupting a rather passionate rant on Ronan’s behalf about Declan. He spared the details about how Adam’s hands had curled around the back of his neck, tugging him closer and closer until he felt he could drown in Adam’s kiss. That was for him.

Blue considered for a minute, before kicking him lightly under the table, drawing him out of his thoughts. “What if this was him acting on it?”

Ronan shook his head, rolling his eyes. “Not possible, maggot.”

Blue rolled her eyes, muttering darkly under his breath. “But what if it _is_, Ronan? What if he made his move and then you ignored him for a week and a half?”

Ronan sat back, gaping at her. 

She smirked at him, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. “Talk to him, Ronan. If only for the sake of it being on your terms, and not at Aglionby.”

Ronan promptly groaned, burying his head in his hands.

Blue grinned, reaching over to pat his arm reassuringly. “Thanks for the coffee.”

__________________________

Adam buried his face in his pillow.

It had been a _week_. He was dumb, dumb as _fuck_. He’d been certain Ronan had liked him, had been so sure in himself.

Exactly one week and three days ago, he had kissed Ronan. And Ronan had kissed back, hungrily, desperately, like he was gasping for air. 

So Adam hadn’t regretted it, had had no reason to. 

Except now it had been a week and three days and Ronan hadn’t talked to him. At first, Adam hadn’t thought much of it; they were busy, and Ronan hardly ever used his phone. Then Gansey called him. 

It was Monday, four days after the _incident_. Adam was driving home from his morning shift, some shitty song playing on the radio that he despised, but knew Ronan adored, when his phone started ringing. He planned to ignore it, really, but flipped it over all the same, just in case it was Ronan. 

It wasn’t.

All the same, he felt guilty, after having seen Gansey’s name, to just ignore it. So he picked up, regretfully turning off the song. 

“Hey,” he said, smiling a little.

“What the _fuck_ is up with you and Ronan?”

Adam blinked, pulling over aggressively. “Excuse me?”

“He’s been moping around the apartment. Usually when he’s moping it’s your fault.”

“I-” Adam groaned, feeling like crying. “Fuck.”

“Should I ask him about it?”

“_No_!” Adam almost shouted, heart pounding. “No uh, just give him space. I’ll talk to him when he’s ready.”

Gansey muttered an agreement and thanked him, hanging up after one last plea to “deal with it as soon as Adam possibly could.”

_Damn_, Adam thought, somewhat resentfully. _Am I really that bad a kisser_?

It was almost a week later, and here he lay, face buried in his pillow. His phone let out a _ding_ and he groaned once more, blearily rolling over to grab it. It was Blue.

He rubbed his eyes blearily, squinting at the screen.

**#1 ex gf**: dude  
**#1 ex bf**: dude  
**#1 ex gf**: i just talked to ronan  
**#1 ex bf**: wh  
**#1 ex bf**: whatd he say  
**#1 ex gf**: nothing i think i should tell you  
**#1 ex gf**: but you should talk to him  
**#1 ex gf**: in person  
**#1 ex bf**: dude  
**#1 ex bf**: i _really_ don’t think that’d work out  
**#1 ex gf**: why not wh  
**#1 ex bf**: bc hes been avoiding me >:(  
**#1 ex gf**: oh yeah  
**#1 ex gf**: but if u get a chance  
**#1 ex bf**: yeah i will  
**#1 ex bf**: i miss him

Adam groaned, in sync with a loud _crack_ of thunder from outside.

About five minutes later, someone was pounding on his door. He sighed, expecting Blue or Gansey, or maybe his landlord.

It was none of those people.

Ronan Lynch stood at Adam’s doorstep, looking both sheepish and completely drenched.

“Hi,” he mumbled, offering a small smile.

Adam winced. “Hey.”

“Can I come in? I know things have been… well, weird, between us but it’s pouring outside and you’re the only person in the area I know and-”

“Yes, Ronan, you can come in. Don’t touch anything before I get you dry clothes though.”

A ghost of a smile flitted across Ronan’s face and he held his hands up jokingly. “Yes sir!”

Adam snorted, opening the door a little wider to let him in, before heading back to his bedroom to grab clothes.

As soon as Adam was out of Ronan’s earshot, his cheerfully polite smile dropped, exhaustion and frustration creeping in. 

What was he doing _here_? And did Adam have to talk to him, now that he’d promised Blue? Would Ronan bring it up? One of them had to say something, right? Adam knew he had to, anyway. He couldn’t go on like this. Even if he had been wrong about everything and Ronan only wanted to be friends, or worse, thought him disgusting for making a move when he was uninterested. that was _fine_. He’d rather just be friends than be nothing at all.

_Christ_, he hated feelings.

Back in the living room, Ronan was having a similar crisis, anxiety coursing through his body. Adam had winced when he’d seen Ronan. Adam had fucking _winced_. Ronan wondered if he’d mention the kiss, if he’d let Ronan down now or just play dumb to the whole thing while harboring thoughts about how gross it was that _Ronan_ of all people liked him, Ronan who he would never like.

This fucking sucked.


End file.
